I love the rain the most

I love the rain here. One moment is calm, dry, and hot…the next a small but steady rain settles in. It tinks and pinks off my tin roof. But the small steady drizzle doesn’t last long. Within minutes it is pouring. Hard. Loud. Beautiful. Powerful. The sound and smells overwhelm me. The dry, cracked ground rejoices for the deep drink.

The down pour don’t seem to last for long. Just when your mind begins to get used to the overwhelming amount of water tumbling out of the sky, it lightens again. The drizzle may continue for a bit with another down pour cycle to follow or it may fizzle out, leaving that after-rain-smell that calms my heart.

I feel like my experiences with culture and language here in Nicaragua are similar to the cycles of rain I’ve witnessed the first few weeks. Most of the time I’m dry, cracked, thirsty for understanding why things/risks/habits are the way they are here. They’re not bad, just very new, different, and foreign. In reality, I can’t even make sense of what is good/bad/fine/normal/etc. yet. I’m still in the first stages of adapting to a new culture, with a mix of the honeymoon stage and the beginnings of culture shock. Between the new language, new family, new home, new food, new customs, new work, new sleeping schedules, new levels of noise, new eating/bathing/cleanliness standards…it’s a lot to take in.

Then occasionally, a drizzle comes.

I learn new words; a bridge to communication. I learn new rituals; a bridge to connection. I get a glimpse of what’s going on around me and a tiny bit of potential understanding.

There have even been a few down pours – moments where I’m able to move past the newness and just recognize the beauty. Family gathered together to celebrate the baptism and birthday of Diego. Blowing bubbles with a three-year-old cousin. Andres embarrassing our ten-year-old cousin by dancing in the streets. My host mom telling me over and over again not to be sad that Andres is gone through the week or anxious that I won’t learn enough Spanish. Getting up with the rosters and the sun and greeting then both with yoga. Listening to a conversation in Spanish and knowing some of what is being said and being able to reply in Spanish to keep the conversation going.

In some ways, in those moments of clarity and insight, I feel more alive than I have in years. Perhaps it’s the stark contrast between the dry, thirsty days where I have no idea what’s going on that makes it so. Regardless, those moments where understanding and connection pour into my soul leave me feeling a little more whole.

And when the rain stops, I hold on to those moments and smell that after-rain-smell, and I know it’s the first step of creating a home for myself in this new land for the next two years.


10 thoughts on “I love the rain the most”

  1. Let it rain!
    Let it rain down!
    Open the floodgates of heaven!

    Love this post! I hope that song is a good mantra for you. Also, the image of the roosters made me think of how the chickens and roosters used to curl up in the palm trees at sundown in Fiji. Wishing you love and moments of peace! Hugs Em!

    1. Thanks dearest! I’ll be humming this now for weeks and as I do I think of you. Thanks for the moments of peace and for the love I can feel you sending our way.

  2. Beautifully written honey! Such heartfelt struggles described in a meaningful way. I’m so grateful for all the joys you’ve received too! It’s cool, coming from a Portland Mamma, to see all the imagery to rain! Love you!

    1. Thanks Mamma. I’ve always loved the rain. It was an easy connection for me to make here early on. Rain. Stars. Trees….you’ll probably see posts on lots of those things that fill my soul. Love you, too.

  3. What an awesome analogy. Rain connects you back to us and yet clearly has it’s own Nica manifestation! You have such a magical way of painting with words, I can just smell the “after-rain” right along with you.

    Love, Pappa Erik

  4. ;ldjkfalsdfjlksajflkasjlkfdjsa I LOVE THE METAPHOR AND IMAGERY!!!!!!!!!!! You are such a poetic writer, I love it! That is so great you are doing yoga! That has helped me a lot with anxiety. Have you been able to keep up with your yoga in the mornings? As your roots grow deeper into this new territory, you will need those rainy spells less frequently because you can draw up water from the cold earth from what you have already established. Keep growing those roots!

    1. This comment almost made me cry. Thanks for your words of encouragement and wisdom. I’ve been keeping up with yoga in the mornings of weekdays and I’m trying hard to keep growing those roots. Love ya sister!

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